Posted on May 27 2015
Time alone. Oh how glorious that time is... how relaxing... how rejuvenating... and how utterly INFREQUENT. But, oh, when that time does come, how I revel in it. How I relish it! How I bask in it's rare and shimmering splendor. And do you want to know what I do with this heavenly time? As of late, I have been known to lounge luxuriously in bed with whatever edible delight I happen to fancy in the moment (like really salty tortilla chips... apples with honey and cinnamon... spoonfuls of nut butter with dapples of chocolate chips... ), watching whatever the hell I want on Netflix. No Caillou fo' YOU! I might get creative and sit down to draw something worthy of a picture frame.... like a tattoo design for my uncle! I often find myself turning on my favorite music and.... CLEANING! (Wait, what? Cleaning???) It's true. You know why? Because for once, I can get really into what I'm doing and not be interrupted by little people wanting to eat or be picked up or have a fight mediated or all of those other needs that are totally valid and important, but oh so distracting when I have my hands in a toilet bowl. Plus, once a room is clean, it will actually stay clean for the entire duration of the time that I'm all by myself. On really nice, warm days, when the flowers are blooming and white fluffy clouds are lazily drifting overhead, I will go out onto my front deck, hang up a big towel so the neighbors can't see me, and lie naked in that nourishing sunlight. This is one of the truly luxurious things that I do (though not nearly as often as I'd like) when I get time alone. As I lie there, I express gratitude for the solitude. I give thanks for all of the blessings and opportunities in my life, and affirm that I am worthy and open to receive even more. And then I eat cookies. I have had to break the habit of frantically trying to figure out what activity would be the most fulfilling to me, knowing that my time alone is limited. For awhile I would find myself pacing around the house, contemplating whether to clean, cook, watch a movie, go for a walk, paint my toenails, etc. because ideally I wanted to do all of those things, but in reality I'd have to pick and choose. In the end, I would accomplish nothing except hastily cleaning up something and then starting a movie that I wouldn't be able to finish while worrying that I'm not doing something else that I'd like doing better. Not very fulfilling. What I learned is that whatever I feel like doing most in the moment - whether it is starting an involved arts and crafts project, cleaning my house uninterrupted, or sitting on my arse the entire time watching episode after episode of American Horror Story, the fact is that it's what brings me the most joy and relaxation, and so I do it. No guilt. No regrets. Just pure, unadulterated bliss.... and cookies. So now I want to know: what do YOU do when you can do whatever you want?