Because my job is keeping our house running and our kids alive, well-fed, nurtured, intellectually stimulated and clean, I make most of the decisions around here. I pay careful attention to what we need at the grocery store, when we need to hire a plumber to fix that pesky toilet, where we should send our children for preschool, how the toys should be organized, etc. Just as my husband is responsible for a whole lot of important decisions when he’s at work, I’m faced with important ones when I’m at work in our home.
I’m lucky though. My husband and I are very much on the same page when it comes to raising our kids. In our relationship, it works best for us that I just decide how to handle the “easy” stuff and we move on. (Oh, and I may never get anything done if I waited for him!). For the “bigger” decisions, such as where to go on a family vacation or buying a new car, I do a little thinking and/or research to narrow down any options, then we discuss, make a decision and I usually execute.
I tell all of you this as background information so you might understand how much of a surprise it was to me when my guy wanted to hear all about my cloth diaper research, brands, pros and cons, what happens to the poo, etc. throughout the process. It all started when our second baby was on the way. I casually mentioned that I was interested in cloth diapering. I let it slip that it might save us a lot of money in the long run and he was immediately excited. Not 48 hours later, he was already asking me what I had found out, how much it was going to save and whether I’d decided what kind to use. Wait. What? This was clearly a “bigger” decision he wanted a part of.
When it comes to cloth diapering, I think dads usually fall into one of two categories:
- Super excited, fully on-board wanting to share in every detail, or
- Willing to do it because his wife is excited about it.
- I think there might be a third category too – those unwilling to have any part of it. But I think those dads are pretty rare because most guys are excited when their wives are excited about something.
I had definitely pegged my husband for category two, but lucky for me, he surprised me by being a total one.
Even a year later, he still gets way more excited about cloth diapering than any new class we’re taking or recipe we’re trying. When he changes our daughter, I can sometimes hear him on the monitor asking “Which color do you want to wear today, beautiful? Purple? Oooh, good choice.”
And even better, I’ve actually overheard him telling another dad that we cloth diaper and how much money it saves us. He stated is so matter-of-factly, not embarrassed by it in the least, and almost a little proud of it.
I think the best part is that he supports whatever I want to do. So when our ammonia issues were at an all-time high, he gave me an out: “You don’t have to keep doing this if you don’t want to” and then supported me when I decided to keep trying different things to figure it out.
Still, most all of the responsibility for washing, fitting, troubleshooting and caring for the diapers falls to me, but I have to say, it feels great to have a supportive partner by my side (for cloth diapering and everything else!). I guess diapering duty does fall into my job description anyway.
What does your partner think about cloth diapering? Is he indifferent? Supportive? Proud of what you’re doing? Does he brag to his friends like mine?